someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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