I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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