why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize