So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my shit smells like andre
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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