i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
either way he was missing a nipple.
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i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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