too bad you live with your parents still
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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