just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
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Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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