If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They are going to name an STD after you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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