I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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