He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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