i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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