How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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