He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize