I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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