So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize