I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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