shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
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His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
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Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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