Quick, to the slutcave!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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