and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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