i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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