Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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