In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Drake has all the answers
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