Welp...herpes.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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