I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize