He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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