The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
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oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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