ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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