Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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