Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
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I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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