my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize