Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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