fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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