eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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