If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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