I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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