He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize