Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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