i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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