My brain says no but my pants say off.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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