not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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