twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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