Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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