i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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