So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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