youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
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I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize