Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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