Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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