your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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