We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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