i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize